I had a dream last nite that we were fighting over stupid stuff and he was being very controlling, not allowing me to recycle~ But it brought up the old feelings of havng no control around him that I get physical and hit him. I have done that in the past because he shows no emotion yet he hurts me soo much and I would cry and cry and he would just be a ston eand sit there, never comforting me. wow, this brings back old feelings and now I know that I have been going thru this for soo long, the big change came when I stopped crying. After one session where I was crying so hard, crying because he was emotionless and uncaring and unloving, I was crying so hard that there was blood coming out of my nose. I thought i ruptured something in my head, who knows what it was. But that is when I knew that I had to start worrying about myself and if he didnt love me then I would love myself.

When I stopped the crying and the begging for him to love me I turned cold i guess, i began to protect myself and that is when the problems really began, when HE became unhappy.